I have no memory of my parents ever being married. But it seems like just yesterday when my father brought home a beautiful woman, who I was just excited to play with and show her my pink and purple bedroom filled with stuffed animals and toys. My brothers and I were running around, so excited like kids on Christmas. At the young age of 19, my now stepmom took on the role of being a parent to my two older brothers and I. She basically said forget about having fun with friends at parties, and sacrificed her life to become a parent with some wild children who were needy, wild and sometimes sweet.
I often wonder where my mom is. No, she did not leave me; I know where she lives, what she likes to do, and up until I was 18 I lived with her 50% of the time. On occasion I stop by her house for dinner. I get to see my dog, my stepdad, my sister and her of course. But I am wondering where the woman who once loved me so dearly, was always so positive and I could always go to. The relationship I have with my mom is not a typical mother daughter relationship. She is not the one I call when I am crying or need advice or just to talk about my day.
Stepmoms are often looked at as evil and malicious but I was blessed enough to have to complete the opposite of that. I had a role model, someone I could open up to and call when I had tears rolling down my face. She proved her love for me by protecting me, supporting me and laughing with me. Even throughout the divorce issues that we all dealt with everyday, she always tried to guide me in the right direction. She has shown me how to maturely go about a situation and quickly adapt to change. I feel like she has taught me many life skills such as responsibility and communication that has shaped who I am today. She would always step up to the plate when my mother decided to be absent.
Dress shopping is something that a mother and daughter bond over but that just was not the same for me. My mother never seemed interested, never wanted to help pay for it and missed out on significant milestones in my childhood. Although my stepmom had 6 other kids to care for, she took time every fall and spring to go take me dress shopping in Chicago. This was something that I valued. We got to laugh, have deep conversations and above all, buy dream dresses for my dances. But it’s not all about the dress buying that I value, I value the lesson that she has taught me in life: stepping up when people need it and showing up.
My stepmom is somebody who I will forever value and be thankful for. I have now applied what I have learned to kids I work with at school, my friends and my family. Always show up for people when you can, no matter the circumstances.
