Throughout my childhood I was asked this classic question many times: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I always responded with “I don’t know what I want to be, but I know that I want to help people.” Although I challenged it throughout the years, I always felt a connection to teaching. There is one event in particular that made me realize that I truly do want
to be a teacher.
I attribute a big part of why I want to be a teacher to my mom. Growing up, we were very close. She was my role model and I wanted to be her. I grew up hearing stories about her work; she has always been an extremely passionate and invested educator. I felt connected to her students and coworkers – I even got to meet a few. The environment she was a part of always seemed so special and so right. It felt natural that I would grow up and become a part of that same environment. Although it was not my mom’s intention, I started being unable to differentiate my passion for teaching from hers. Discovering this caused me to question if I really wanted to be a teacher.
I really started questioning if teaching was right for me during my freshman year of high school. I was confused if I wanted to be a teacher or if I just wanted to be like my mom. Because of this, I started resenting teaching. I even started resenting my mom a little. I felt very lost. This sense of uncertainty about my identity was very unsettling and frustrating. For the first time in my life, I started considering other careers. I was seriously considering banking for a while – the only other career in my family that seemed interesting to me. I felt like I would be successful in banking and that I would feel accomplished. This idea stuck with me for a while, but my banking aspirations quickly dissipated when I started my first job.
I was hired to be a lifeguard the summer after my sophomore year of high school. Although I was hired to be a lifeguard, my role quickly changed to being a swim instructor. I became very involved in teaching swim lessons. I loved figuring out how different kids learned differently. I was also good at it. Teaching gave me a sense of confidence and connection that I had never experienced before. Although I liked most of the kids that I worked with, there were a few kids that were always really special to me. Zoe was one of those really special kids.
One day, Zoe and I were swimming together. We were working on her kicks. She was struggling with something that many kids struggle with; Zoe was kicking under herself, instead of behind herself. This meant that she was pushing herself towards the sky, instead of pushing herself forwards through the water. I noticed that her feet were starting to get low, but I decided not to say anything. All of a sudden, I heard her say “oh, I gotta get my kicks up!” I remember being filled with so much joy when she said that. At that moment, she didn’t need me. I had helped her get to a point where she could independently identify that there was a problem, assess the problem, figure out a solution, and then apply the solution; I had helped her get to a point where she could help herself. It was in that moment that I realized the only thing I wanted to do was teach – nothing else was ever going to make me feel this way.
Working with kids like Zoe has benefited me in so many ways. These dynamic relationships have helped to shape both me and my future. Not only have these experiences solidified the fact that I want to be a teacher, but they have also helped me develop skills that I want to bring into my classroom environment. I have become better at being patient, setting boundaries, feeling confident, and focusing my energy. Although I still struggle with feelings of uncertainty for the future, I do know that I am making the right decision by becoming a teacher.
